Can you take me away... can you carry me away...

I always try to get out on the weekends to practice jingle since I'm still not up to champion speed (and the stress of college keeps destroying my figure). Last weekend or so, my mom and I went out to the big shelter in the park. We barbecued and danced; it was great! So I tried to get out and dance this weekend. I couldn't get the big park shelter because they keep locking it up. So I tried the little shelter because I need the electricity for my cd player (yup, I'm ol skool... no ipod lol).
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*big sigh*
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I like to pretend that natives share this world with everyone else... but the world acts like were intruding on something that belongs exclusively to them sometimes. We have to hide our dance steps and keep our drum beats quiet for fear of harassment. All I want is just a private place to dance for a couple of hours. But today, I was out there dancing for only about 10 minutes before a couple of guys parked at the shelter, got out of their truck, and walked up to the shelter to sit down at the table. Perhaps I over reacted but this town is known for its rapists and jerks so naturally I was uneasy. But I figured maybe they needed the shelter more than I. After all, it was sort of selfish of me to claim the shelter just for me. So I asked them if they needed the shelter. One guy was talking loudly on the phone and blew off the question, he just sat and stared at me while blathering. The other guy responded and said, "No." Okaaaaay, then why the heck did you park and get out and sit down?! It wouldn't have been so unnerving had they sat down, facing each other as though they were going to sit and talk or have a bite to eat. But no, they were both facing me were I stood. Too anxious to even muster the confidence to dance in front of these bizarre strangers, I just packed up and left. As I did, the one fellow said, "Sorry." WHAT?! I don't get it - if you don't need to be there and you felt sorry, then move your SORRY butt! *sigh*

Later, after I left, I felt bad. I suppose I was being antisocial again. I don't know how to be any other way. I just don't trust anyone. Had they sat down said, "Hello, would it be okay if we sat here and hung out? How are you? Nice day isn't it? What are you up to? Dancing, oh that's neat!" I would have been much more receptive. But I forget that most people don't believe natives exist here... so I suppose its like seeing a ghost. lol

Then I began to worry that I made a bad impression by packing up and leaving in silence as though I were mad because I do represent NASA as the president. Now these people are then going to think that natives are mean. Or maybe they were natives themselves (although they looked like a couple of cowboys to me) and I just turned them off to NASA with my cold-shoulder behavior. *sigh* Why can't I be normal, trusting, or self confident. I just wish NASA could recruit students, then if I went out dancing, I'd have someone else there and I wouldn't worry so much about my safety.

All I want is a nice flat place with an electrical outlet... can you take me there?... can you take me away? Women shouldn't have to be afraid to leave the house alone... natives shouldn't have to be afraid to dance anywhere they like.

When you say, land of the FREE, all I hear is land of the FEAR.